People think that acting your age is only related to your biological age and is either good or bad. My experience tells me it is neither.

Body, Mind, and Spirit
The many areas that form the core of healthy maturity are encompassed under the 3 overall sections of Body, Mind, and Spirit. Acting your many ages means understanding two key points: 1. while we are a physical age, we are also an emotional age, a sensual age, an intellectual age, and many others. 2. these many ages are likely to be at different levels of maturity. So much of life is struggling to gather all our age ducks in a row, or at least in the same pond. It is only when our ages work together that our needs are met.

For example, I have been a competitive amateur athlete all my life, but it is only in the last ten years or so that I have embraced this fully. Because I was a female and Latina, I had no role models to support that part of my growth for many years. My mind told me I was being unfeminine. My spirit responded with anger because I was frustrated with the contradictory messages I got from my family and society. This lead to one semi-fist fight my sister would be happy to tell you about and a few yellow cards from the soccer referee for saying things I probably shouldn’t have said…out loud. Therefore, my body did not perform to the best of its ability because it was not in union with my mind and spirit. As Iyanla Vanzant says: “There should be a natural shift in our consciousness as we mature in life, but sometimes it does not happen.” It was only because I put energy and time into growing up emotionally and spiritually that I now step on a tennis court and play with my body, mind, and my spirit.

What is Maturity?
IMG_2457Think of yourself as being born like a packet of wildflowers seeds. Each area of your life is ready to grow to its full potential.  Some seeds take root easily and flourish with the right conditions. Some seeds land on hard soil, in places with more shade, or in terrain that directs water away from it. Even if some begin to grow despite inhospitable conditions, there may be wind tunnels that batter some areas of your growth so you get stuck in thoughts and behaviors that don’t serve you. A field of wildflowers at its most beautiful and mature is when all the varieties bloom and are mixed in together to create a natural bouquet.

Our natural bouquet of maturity is also at its most beautiful when our body, mind, and spirit bloom together. We have all felt that – even if fleeting – when we, the people around us, and the environment was full of light, air, and nourishment.

Barriers to Growth and Maturity
To fully flourish, we need to identify barriers to our full growth. First, we tend to rely too heavily on the aspects of our being where we have natural talent and reach maturity with little effort. Secondly, we can focus on where we get positive external recognition, like our intellect. The third and most challenging barrier to all our flowers blooming, however, are traumatic events. It is all well and good to say: “Grow where you are planted”. It another thing altogether to think abusive, racist, or economically starved environments don’t result in serious harm and self-doubt about both our right and capacity to blossom.

Never Too Late
The good news is that it is truly never too late to flourish. This takes effort. It’s like trying to pat your head, circle your stomach and hop at the same time – without putting concerted, relaxed effort into the development of our Body, Mind, and Spirit, we cannot do all three at once.

As a gardener and a life-long learner, I suggest that the first step to a beautiful garden or a more aligned life is taking an honest look at the state of your soil in supporting the well being of your Body, Mind, and Spirit. Then, commit to small, prioritized steps to make the conditions conducive for all your flowers to flourish.

Working with a coach is a great way to sort out the state of your inner garden. For a complimentary 20 minute session, call or email me. 510-593-4685;

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